top of page

SOS BOOK Chapter 19: We must choose to change!


A crisis is not just a breakdown or a loss. It’s also an opportunity for a major break-through! A life crisis is a special chance to dramatically change our lives. We might also choose to change how our inner world works! Our acute predicament can provide the incentive and the space to do this!

If we are wise enough, we can get our life back into balance. We can transform our life & ourselves considerably.

A crisis is an opportunity for new realizations. We can significantly change our perspective and take on a new outlook on life. We might view our situation from a higher or wider perspective. An analogy might be us looking down from a mountain top. We can better see our situation and the terrain. We can change our direction and try a new path!


After a crisis, we have a unique opportunity to break free. We could finally escape a limiting or damaging lifestyle. We can choose a new path, and a new way of living. Our personal choices are very important at this stage. This includes the perspective and path we choose. We bear responsibility for these decisions too! A crisis can initiate the breakthrough we need. What we choose to do next are very important decisions.

We could try to battle on and refuse any insight or realization. We might take on the role of a martyr, or secretly enjoy the sick role. We might enjoy the extra care or attention that we get! We could use this extra attention as a substitute for our own self love!

We might feel that changing ourselves is just too confronting. Or we might put the needs of others before our own wellbeing. We might not really be sick of suffering. We might not feel worthy enough yet! There are other factors that might contribute, and we will discuss these next.

…Will you let go of these excuses?


We can't make a significant personal change without the right intent. This involves consciously committing to this change. To succeed we must commit and follow through with the process of changing ourselves. This plan becomes our new path! This is the start of our inner journey. It's a path of personal self-development. But we are generally resistant to change, especially to changing ourselves.

…Do you recognize that you are resisting change?


Making personal changes goes against the force of habit! This involves changing entrenched thoughts & behavior patterns. Our inner conflict will present as an inner resistance. This results in a subtle undermining of our happiness and our potential.

The neural pathways in our brains have become well established through constant repetitive use. That’s why we might persist with an established behavior, even though it's harming us. Are we doing that?


We also conform to our social conditioning & established beliefs. That makes it harder for us to change! Our values & expectations have also been influenced by family dynamics and past trauma. So, we can become trapped in all these habitual & adaptive patterns. Will we choose to break free from all that?

However, if we ignore this opportunity to transform, we sabotage ourselves. We sacrifice our true inner drives & needs. We also diminish our wellbeing, and our lasting happiness & joy. We suppress our talents and limit our potential! Will we choose to care for ourselves, and optimize our wellbeing?

…Will you prioritize your wellbeing?


It takes some commitment to make these changes. The real work is to transform our way of thinking! In particular we need to watch our mind. But often the hardest part is starting this process. We must override old habits, beliefs & expectations. Our ego will also try to discourage or sabotage us. So, we need to keep an eye on all that. That’s where this book can help.

We are quite capable of breaking from past patterns. Consider again the alternative where our internal distress will just build. This will damage us internally. It will then spill out into our daily life! This spillage can be overt, like a crisis.

…Can you identify your limiting past patterns and habits?


bottom of page