TALKING ABOUT IT IS A STOP GAP
Unfortunately, most people don’t successfully process their emotions. Many people just rely on ‘talking it out’ with their friends. But rarely are friends able to provide a healthy objective sounding board. Friends usually reinforce the justifications and excuses. Venting to friends can provide temporary relief. But this is only a STOP GAP measure!
DON'T ATTACH TO THE STORY
Complaining to your friends DOES NOT PROCESS the emotion. In fact, this further entrenches you in the STORY! Negative rumination further attaches you to the painful emotion. This just creates more layers to process! The more you dwell on the suffering, the deeper the CORE issue becomes buried. Secondary emotions are added just by focussing on the drama of the story.
JOURNAL & MEDITATE
Journaling is an opportunity to be more honest with ourselves. Meditation quietens our mind and promotes detachment & inner processing. These are both much healthier alternatives.
CONSIDER PROFESSIONAL SUPPORT
Blaming others and gossiping with friends is generally unhelpful. This is not productive processing. If you are struggling, a trained professional can help. Counsellors are experts at keeping the conversation neutral. They can provide an unbiased perspective and insight. Instead of venting to friends, try processing with an expert.