SOS BOOK Chapter 40: Releasing our past.



REVIEW YOUR LIFE & RELEASE PAST TRAUMA.

Let's now return back to our own personal growth & transformation. Before moving forward with inner self-development, it's useful to acknowledge our past. That includes reviewing any painful experiences or life lessons from our past. It’s useful to reflect on our own personal story.


Our adaptive strategies to cope with stress or certain situations may be hampered. This may have also resulted from our family dynamics and social conditioning. We can be stuck in childlike or inefficient ways of responding. We might also have flawed or fixed expectations of certain people or situations. It would also be beneficial to recognize these issues!


There are many other past influences that might still be actively affecting our life today. There might be past trauma or abuse. Unless resolved, these past experiences might hold us back! We may not have resolved or healed them fully.

…Are you ready to resolve and heal your past experiences?


REFLECT ON YOUR PERSONAL JOURNEY SO FAR.

So how do we gently start this process of releasing our past? First, review your own life, right back to our earliest memories. Reflect on your personal journey so far. Sometimes, just below the surface layer of these events, we can feel isolated and alone. We can feel vulnerable & insecure. It’s important to recognize and admit that.


It's important to acknowledge how we really feel about our life. It’s even better if we can allow ourselves to feel those feelings briefly. We then lovingly allow the emotion or feeling to pass spontaneously. It will quickly pass from our awareness if we are not fearful or judgmental. It’s important not to dwell on the drama and narrative. Nor do we just suppress it again. Instead, we patiently & lovingly invite it to pass.

…Which past experience will you reflect on now?


SOMETIMES WE FEEL LIKE WE DON’T FIT IN.

Sometimes we feel totally out of place just being here! We might feel that we don’t belong here at all! This can include being in our family of birth, in current society, or even on this planet! It is important to acknowledge these deep feelings of ‘not fitting in’. Try to experience these feelings again briefly and then gently let them pass. This will be a natural and neutral process if we remain objective & unattached.


DON’T DWELL ON THE STORYLINE OF PAST DRAMA.

We might have repressed some feelings very deeply, to cope with this world. Try to experience the sensation of that feeling again. Then allow this to spontaneously pass when it's ready to do so. Don't dwell or promote the associated narrative or drama. That just delays the clearing of these emotions. Be unattached and neutral. Gently re-experience the feelings and lovingly invite them to pass on. That is the way to resolve our problematic past experiences.


WE FEAR STRONG FEELINGS.

We might have experienced abusive, distressing or traumatic life events. We might still feel wounded from these! Because of these events we may still compensate or defend ourselves in some way. Sometimes we become stuck in inappropriate methods of coping and can't move on. Sometimes we believe we won’t cope with these emotions rising to the surface. We fear that we won’t be able to face these feelings. So, we are scared to re-experience them and release them. If this is the case, then we might need some expert help and professional guidance. This support can help us heal our past traumas and move on.

…Do you trust your ability to cope with facing your emotions?

RELEASE THE PAST TO EMBRACE THE NEW.

Personal transformation requires an attitude of gratitude & forgiveness. A big breakthrough is to forgive ourselves! Eventually we may be grateful for all the experiences we have lived through. But before moving forward, it is good to at least acknowledge the life lessons we have had.


As we re-experience the emotions associated with any unresolved issues, we clear these from our ‘to do’ list. We gain wisdom when they are processed.


WE MUST EXPERIENCE PAINFUL EMOTIONS!

Too often we just bury our past suffering & traumas without processing them fully. But they still reside deep in our subconscious mind. We can't release them until they are processed. We might put on a brave face, but inwardly, we still carry those painful feelings. We often keep suppressing them! This means we can’t move on fully with our inner journey. This part of us needs to heal before we can move forward!

…Are you ready to release past baggage and move forward?


EXPERIENCING OUR FEELINGS SETS THEM FREE!

Just by briefly acknowledging our emotions & true feelings, we can release them!We also gain courage & wisdom in the process. Just a brief re-experiencing of painful emotions is enough! But we must do this with loving kindness and without fear. Otherwise, this emotion processing can take much longer. It's even worse if we attach to the narrative & drama. We then become heavily invested in the story, and who was in the wrong. But remember, doing that just delays the full clearance!


This emotion processing & releasing technique is very simple, but not always easy to do. That's because we have to face our fears! Processing emotions is an important part of our inner journey. The human mind is complex, so this process requires perseverance. We need some bravery and openness to the process.

…Are you open to try this emotional processing approach?


FEELING AN EMOTION ALLOWS ITS RELEASE.

Instead of just suppressing our feelings, we can instead choose to re-experience them. Feeling an emotion automatically starts a natural process of release. That's how we send those painful feelings on their way.


On the other hand, by suppressing the feeling or dwelling on the narrative, we are holding ourselves back. We gain more wisdom as we clear the painful experience.

…Are you excited to see what you can learn from past experiences?


THE EMOTIONAL RELEASE CAN OCCUR QUICKLY.

We don’t have to endlessly suffer or endure long ‘emotional processing’ as some might believe. That’s just a fallacy! It’s not beneficial to constantly dwell or ruminate on a past situation! The faster the processing & release of emotions the better! By constantly going over the storyline or narrative in our mind, we just delay its release.


Having a personal judgement of a ‘painful’ past event will also delay its release! The secret is just to focus on the pure emotion, without any judgment. So don't get trapped by all the associated story, drama or fear. Just be as brave, objective, neutral and loving as you can. This speeds the full release. Otherwise, additional or secondary emotions will also arise! Then they will need to be processed and released as well.

FEELING AN EMOTION CAN BE A BREAKTHROUGH.

Having feelings & emotions is part of being human. Feeling our emotions is inherent to the human condition. This is how we experience our world in addition to our senses! Not only do we have our 5 physical senses, we also ‘feel’ our environment at an emotional level. That's a bonus in being human! We experience this additional powerful sense of emotional feeling. But usually, we are not trained in how to best handle our powerful emotions! Too often we become scared of them and suppress these feelings!


Denying or repressing our emotions comes at a considerable cost. If we deny our emotions, we don’t fully experience life. We only get a limited version! This limits our personal growth and our future potential. Then we don't evolve at an emotional & spiritual level. Plus, we waste valuable energy, keeping all those feelings suppressed.


IGNORING OUR EMOTIONS COMES AT A COST.

Usually, we are not taught the hidden cost of ignoring our emotions! We therefore waste these opportunities to learn & grow. What a waste of our time and perhaps an entire lifetime! In this way we reduce our happiness and our potential for expressing more joy. Plus, by deeply suppressing or repressing our emotions, we risk a toxic buildup of these energies. This buildup can damage our health & wellbeing and contribute to a life crisis.

…Do you now see the importance of emotional processing?

WAVE GOODBYE TO SUPPRESSED EMOTIONS!

As always, we have a choice! Will we continue to suppress those painful memories that try to surface? Alternatively, we can learn to process & clear these. The aim is to experience the pure emotion, not the associated pain or drama involved in the story. We only need to experience the emotion long enough to identify and feel it. Then we can release it fully, just by not attaching to the storyline & drama. This allows it to spontaneously pass and leave our awareness. If this returns in some other form, we repeat the same process.


We release an emotion quickly by experiencing the ‘pure feeling’ of it. This will allow it to fade naturally and clear spontaneously. This might take a few moments, or a few minutes. The secret is not to dwell on the situation involved or the associated drama. That just hinders the clearance, and it takes much longer. Instead, we maintain our courage, loving kindness and compassion. Being fearful or judgmental also significantly delays the clearance and causes more suffering.

…Do you better understand how to release emotions effectively?


DON’T DWELL ON THE STORYLINE OR DRAMA.

Remember, don’t dwell or ruminate on the associated thoughts that might come up. That just prolongs the suffering. Instead, just lovingly acknowledge or ‘thank’ the experience for aiding our personal growth!


Experience the welcome relief that comes from releasing your emotional load. You have lessened your emotional baggage. This might be an empowering release with a significant gain of wisdom. It might be a major breakthrough!


Sometimes we still feel that a deeply suppressed emotion might be too overwhelming to face. If you have these or other concerns, ask a trained counselor or psychologist for help.


>>> CLICK HERE FOR CHAPTER 41