SOS BOOK Chapter 34: We can break free!



CHILDREN HAVE LIMITED ADAPTIVE STRATEGIES.

As children we are all exposed to trauma of some kind, which causes us to adapt to those experiences. As children we have limited coping skills and cope the best we can. But as adults, those childhood coping strategies are no longer optimal. However, we can unknowingly continue these faulty compensatory strategies into our adult life.


We often continue infantile ways of responding to new adult life situations! We might not even know this is occurring. So, we need to detect & replace any such faulty behavior patterns.


POOR LIFE SKILLS INDICATE PAST TRAUMA.

Our adaptive strategies and compensatory behaviors might not be apparent. With past trauma or familial dysfunction, this adaptation can be deeply hidden in our subconscious mind. There are also other causes of inappropriate behavioral strategies. Much of our behavior has been socially conditioned, especially through our education system. This can then become habitual. These are all potential hidden issues, and more extensive than we realize.


Our conditioning or trauma can even start before our first memories. The continuing influence of this prior trauma or conditioning may not be obvious. All we might notice as adults is some unexplained emotional distress or unease in certain life situations. Others around us might notice an inappropriate behavior pattern that tends to be repeated.


QUESTION YOUR PERCEPTIONS & REACTIONS.

There is a way to identify these unhelpful hidden patterns. We simply maintain a high level of awareness in all we think and do. By increasing our inner awareness, we can question our perceptions, thoughts and emotional reactions. The aim is to maintain an inner sense of calm & peace. Our inner guidance will help us discern what doesn't feel right.

…Are you curious to explore your inner world?


ADDRESSING PAST TRAUMA CAN SEEM SCARY.

We may strongly deny, downplay or even repress our past trauma. Facing up to the true situation can feel too threatening. So, we might claim that our upbringing was typical, beneficial or even idyllic. Yet in fact, we have deeply suppressed certain life events.


Most deeply buried emotions will eventually resurface. They need to be lovingly processed & released. This processing needs to be done with compassion and forgiveness. Only then can we fully heal ourselves!


SOCIAL CONDITIONING IS DIFFICULT TO RELEASE.

We also tend to downplay or deny our social conditioning. We believe these specific behavior patterns help us fit in. We crave acceptance and fear criticism from our peers & friends. So, we are reluctant to change! If we change our behavior, we risk losing status in our group or community. We fear the resultant scorn, shame or rejection!


An alternative way of living can seem too painful to contemplate. We fear that we would not cope without the safety of the group! So, subconsciously we decide not to break away. We procrastinate or find excuses & rationales. We go back to living in the same old ways, which are more ‘acceptable’ to those around us.

SOME PEOPLE DON'T KNOW HOW TO CHANGE.

Some people say they don't know how to change. There may indeed be no appropriate role models in our local group. Maybe they have all left! Then we must look further afield. There will be appropriate role models or help elsewhere. Much information is also available from books, online videos and courses. However, many are reluctant to look too far afield for other resources. This can limit our ability to change and grow.

…Will you need to look outside your group for inspiration?


WE ALREADY KNOW WHAT TO DO DEEP WITHIN.

We intuitively know there is a better way of living. One that is right for us! We know this truth in our heart and our whole being. We also have the internal ability to achieve this goal. It is inbuilt into our inner nature. Our ‘inner needs’ represent that! Each of us is a precious and sovereign individual. Only by discovering our life purpose and potential will we find lasting happiness and fulfillment.


We have sufficient inner guidance within us to complete our mission or life quest. Remember, this is all self-contained. We just have to tune-in and allow this intuitive inner knowing to guide us. We also use our ‘inner needs’ to help power this quest.


We have the inner resources and the drive to complete our true quest. Our hidden capacity and special talents are just waiting to be activated. These are associated with a powerful inner drive to complete the required tasks. We simply follow our passion and our joy!


IT IS POSSIBLE TO BREAK FREE FROM OUR PAST!

We are not the outer facade or ‘mask’ that we wear. We are not our beliefs, biases & acquired habits! We don’t need to stay wounded by our conditioning and past trauma. We can break free of all that past mind control!


Realize that we do have the sovereign right to long lasting happiness. This comes by choosing inner peace and joy! We simply decide to make this our way of life. But we must actively choose this path.


This mindset is a choice we make every moment through our awareness! We simply follow our passion and joy. In this way, we align with our life purpose.


WE CAN RESET & HEAL OURSELVES!

It’s now time to recognize the influences from our past! We can gradually let go of our social conditioning & bad habits. We can heal our childhood trauma. We can upgrade any dysfunctional childhood behavior patterns that we still use.


We needn’t be angry about our past conditioning, our family dynamics or even our life trauma. Instead, we can use this pent-up energy for a more constructive purpose. We can embrace more effective behaviors. This will create positive change and accelerate our inner transformation.

…Are you ready to move on from the past and make a new start?


>>> CLICK HERE FOR CHAPTER 35