Episode #17 - Managing suppressed emotions.


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SUPPRESSED EMOTIONS

Sometimes we keep avoiding experiencing a painful emotion time & again. We are fearful & don’t feel able to deal with it. So we keep suppressing it!


REPRESSED EMOTIONS

A suppressed emotion tends to quickly resurface. But if we constantly reject this processing, it becomes more deeply buried or ‘repressed’! Repeatedly suppressing an emotion causes it to be buried very deeply or even ‘lost’ within our subconscious mind.


CONSEQUENCES OF REPRESSION

Emotions buried very deeply within our subconscious are termed ‘repressed’. Such unprocessed emotions can cause considerable internal damage. This includes physical damage to health and damage to our relationships. Our emotional and general well-being suffers!


A COMPUTER ANALOGY

Repressing an emotion causes it to ‘fester’ and become toxic. In the computer analogy, a repressed emotion is like a file that has become corrupted and behaves like a computer virus. Just like a computer virus, repressed emotions can be hard to locate, process and eliminate.


REPRESSION CAUSES DISTRESS

Because these corrupted emotions are so deeply repressed, we can’t see their connection to our distress in life! So, we unfairly blame something else for our discomfort or suffering. We may attempt to numb this confusion and distress with unhealthy behaviours and coping mechanisms!



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PROCESS ‘NEGATIVE’ EMOTIONS

It’s especially important to process emotions that feel bad. We should release them quickly! Negative emotions have a ‘low vibration’. Exposure to this ‘low vibration’ quickly brings down our level of wellbeing and vitality!


AVOID WASTING ENERGY

Negative emotions require a lot of valuable energy to keep them suppressed or repressed. If we don’t process them quickly, they keep resurfacing or drag our energy down!


CLEAR NEGATIVITY

The more negative an emotion, the more time and effort is required to successfully process and release it! We do need to clear this negative energy from both our mind and body.


EXAMPLES OF LOW EMOTIONS

Emotions that have a MILDLY NEGATIVE vibration include pride or feeling contempt for another person. Slightly MORE NEGATIVE emotions include feeling hate or loathing.


EVEN LOWER ENERGY EMOTIONS

Emotions with even LOWER vibration include feelings of lust & craving. Even WORSE are feelings of anxiety or fear. Next we will discuss emotions with an even lower vibration.



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EMOTIONS WITH EVEN LOWER VIBRATION

The feeling of chronic anxiety is an example of a moderate level negative emotion. Anxiety is toxic to our physical & emotional health! Ongoing regret has an EVEN LOWER vibration.


LOWEST LEVEL EMOTIONS

Feelings of despair or hopelessness are even lower still in vibe. Feeling constantly guilty and especially feeling ashamed of our self is even worse. These are HIGHLY TOXIC emotions which can severely damage our body and our wellbeing.


CONSIDER PROFESSIONAL GUIDANCE

Expert professional guidance can sometimes be required to help process and clear very toxic emotions. Especially if these emotions have been repressed for a long time. The toxic load has then built up! So, it can be useful to have expert support.


BE KIND & PATIENT

When dealing with these highly negative emotions, it’s especially important to be kind to yourself. Be patient and impartial but also loving and self-caring, as per Challenge 1.


SUMMARY OF CHALLENGE 2

Recall a recent mildly annoying emotion. Briefly re-experience what it feels like, then release & clear it fully. Sometimes an insight or wisdom is gained in this processing.



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PRACTISE EMOTIONAL HYGIENE DAILY

Constantly suppressing our powerful emotions wastes a lot of time and energy. So, it’s important to practise regular emotional maintenance! This is termed EMOTIONAL HYGIENE and it’s much like brushing our teeth. It needs to occur every day, otherwise problems can quickly escalate out of control.


DON’T OVERLOAD YOURSELF

It’s important to prevent the buildup of negative emotions in our subconscious mind. If we delay for too long, it overloads our subconscious TO DO list. We can become overwhelmed, drained and unable to process even basic emotions. This unhealthy state leads to psychological distress and rapid physical breakdown.


PROCESS EMOTIONS REGULARLY

To prevent a toxic buildup of emotions it’s important to QUICKLY deal with them. Ideally, do this AS THEY ARISE. Processing emotions regularly prevents overload and overwhelm. It’s much like tidying up old computer files. If you don’t do this regularly, it can all pile up and become too overwhelming.


ONLY DEFER OCCASIONALLY

Sometimes when not convenient, it’s acceptable to briefly defer emotion processing. But if deferring becomes a habit, emotions will build up and more will become deeply repressed. Our emotional and physical well-being can then quickly deteriorate!



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SUPPRESSION LEADS TO REPRESSION

Emotions that are regularly suppressed risk becoming deeply repressed. Also, the longer an emotion remains UNPROCESSED the more badly corrupted the emotion file can become. If we don’t face these repressed emotions, they can end up lost, in the ‘too hard’ basket and cause internal damage!


EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE WEIGHS US DOWN

These deeply repressed emotions become our ‘emotional baggage’. This is a ‘heavy’ and ‘toxic’ load that we then carry wherever we go. This baggage ‘weighs us down’ and ‘erodes’ our happiness. It creates more suffering in our life!


THE TOXIC LOAD CONTAMINATES OUR SYSTEM

This emotional toxicity can contaminate our whole system. It can bring us crashing down at any time! In computer terms we would call this a ‘blue screen’ event or a ‘system crash’.


REPRESSION CAN LEAD TO A LIFE CRISIS

All that ‘toxic garbage’ can unexpectedly spill out into our daily life. That means, we’re heading into a life crisis!


RELEASE THE BAGGAGE!

We often carry more ‘emotional baggage’ than is healthy. Let’s not add to this load! So, process your emotions quickly and fully, to prevent a toxic buildup, disease and a life crisis.



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DEALING WITH PAINFUL EMOTIONS

Releasing very negative emotions can be more of a challenge! The discomfort can sometimes seem to come back in a slightly different form. This occurs because we haven’t yet dealt with the CORE emotion. There is still a deeper issue!


PEEL AWAY LAYERS OF EMOTION

Emotion processing is like peeling the layers of an onion! First, process the outer layer. That’s the first emotion that surfaces, e.g. anxiety. Then, we may discover further layers of emotion hidden underneath. For example, regret and shame might then arise. Each needs to be cleared in turn, as they resurface.


START WITH THE SURFACE LAYERS

The emotion layers near the surface of the onion are NOT the CORE issue. They have just built up secondarily from the drama and story we create around the CORE incident. We can’t begin to process the hidden CORE issue until surface layers are dealt with.


ADDRESS THE CORE ISSUE

It’s important to ‘dig deep’ and work through all the layers, until you reach the CORE emotion. Try to locate the CORE negative feeling, even though your Ego wants to avoid this! This requires courage and perseverance! Employing expert or professional help might help with some deeply repressed issues.



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DON'T IGNORE THE ISSUE

Most people are not skilled at good emotional processing techniques. When faced with difficult emotions, people habitually deny and suppress their feelings. They mostly ignore the issue or utilise less effective coping techniques.


DON'T AVOID EMOTIONS

Denying our feelings and emotions is dangerous. Some think that by ignoring their emotions they are more stoic or resilient. But this ‘strategy’ is seriously flawed and dangerous!


DENIAL CAUSES DAMAGE

The potential damage we can do to ourselves in the long term is enormous. Denying emotions leads to frustration and dissatisfaction with life. It builds stress and creates dis-ease!


REPRESSION CAUSES DISORDER & DISEASE

Avoiding ‘emotion processing’ promotes internal dysfunction and disease. We can try to ease our distress using distractions, addictions and band-aid measures. But without healthy emotion processing, we are headed for more suffering and a life crisis!


JUST DO IT!

For all these reasons, processing our emotions should be part of our daily routine. Emotion hygiene should be a daily practice, much like bathing or cleaning our teeth!



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TALKING ABOUT IT IS A STOP GAP

Unfortunately, most people don’t successfully process their emotions. Many people just rely on ‘talking it out’ with their friends. But rarely are friends able to provide a healthy objective sounding board. Friends usually reinforce the justifications and excuses. Venting to friends can provide temporary relief. But this is only a STOP GAP measure!


DON'T ATTACH TO THE STORY

Complaining to your friends DOES NOT PROCESS the emotion. In fact, this further entrenches you in the STORY! Negative rumination further attaches you to the painful emotion. This just creates more layers to process! The more you dwell on the suffering, the deeper the CORE issue becomes buried. Secondary emotions are added just by focussing on the drama of the story.


JOURNAL & MEDITATE

Journaling is an opportunity to be more honest with ourselves. Meditation quietens our mind and promotes detachment & inner processing. These are both much healthier alternatives.


CONSIDER PROFESSIONAL SUPPORT

Blaming others and gossiping with friends is generally unhelpful. This is not productive processing. If you are struggling, a trained professional can help. Counsellors are experts at keeping the conversation neutral. They can provide an unbiased perspective and insight. Instead of venting to friends, try processing with an expert.



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SUMMARY OF CHALLENGE 2

Recall a recent mildly annoying emotion. Briefly re-experience what it feels like, then release & clear it fully. Sometimes an insight or wisdom is gained in this processing.


THE BENEFITS ARE REMARKABLE

The benefits of processing our emotional issues can be remarkable! Our courage and confidence can rise considerably. We become braver and more resilient. With our new insights, we become more capable and wise. We become more kind and better able to forgive ourselves and others.


WE GAIN ENERGY & VITALITY

By overcoming our ‘hidden demons’ we gain more energy and vitality. We are no longer poisoned by this toxic load. We are no longer ‘weighed down’ by this heavy emotional baggage!


WE GAIN GRATITUDE & JOY

We can even become GRATEFUL for our painful experiences, because of the valuable lessons learnt! With this new wisdom, we can make better choices and navigate life with MORE JOY.


WE GAIN CLARITY & PASSION

By fully processing our emotions, we gain both CLARITY and the DRIVE to pursue new joy-filled endeavours. It becomes easier to follow our true PASSION and PURPOSE in life!



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CONGRATULATIONS!

Now, you know the basics of healthy, effective emotional processing! This is such an important life skill, that unfortunately most people don’t have.


ADDITIONAL TECHNIQUES

In Challenge 2 we have discussed efficient ways to process and release our emotions. Below are some additional techniques which can potentially COMPLEMENT what you have already learned.


ENJOY NATURE

Spending time in nature can support emotional processing. It might be on the beach, a mountain, in a forest, or being with plants & animals.


EXPLORE MEDITATION

Meditation quietens the drama, story and thoughts that create our suffering. Meditation helps us focus on the pure emotion & clear it.


USE CREATIVITY

Some people absorb themselves in creative activities such as music, art or dance! Creativity is a healthy support to emotional processing. It works like meditation and strengthens our inner connection.


TRY CRYING

Some people find the emotion ‘all pours out’ when they shed a tear or two. Occasional crying can provide a healthy cathartic release.


EXPERIMENT!

See what technique works best for you. Any emotional clearing strategy, however crude, is better than none! Try experimenting with a combination of good emotional processing methods. Your body, mind and friends will thank you for it!

That is the end of Episode #17 about managing suppressed emotions.


Congratulations! You have completed the 'Emotional Intelligence' challenge by UltimateQuest.org


Stay tuned for more upcoming episodes.