Episode #15 - Understanding 'Emotional Intelligence'


Page 1

Welcome to episodes #15-17 of the UltimateQuest.org podcast.


In these episodes we explore 'Emotional Intelligence'.

  • Can you properly manage a negative emotion?

  • Can you easily process & release your emotions?

The aim is to rapidly RAISE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. This is also known as raising your ‘Emotional IQ’ or ‘Emotional Mastery’!


Don’t worry… we will start slowly with the basics! Look at this topic with a fresh perspective and an open mind. You might be surprised what you can learn and achieve! Just work at your own pace and enjoy the challenge.


The core foundation of Emotional Intelligence is EMOTIONAL HYGIENE! This is learning how to simply & effectively ‘deal with’ an uncomfortable emotion! We need to RELEASE the pressure of these ‘difficult’ feelings so they won’t cause internal damage!


This practice is called EMOTIONAL PROCESSING. It’s essential for our emotional growth & personal development! If we don’t learn how to process our emotions, we get STUCK at a childhood level of emotional functioning. We then REVERT back to this childhood level when triggered by life events!



Page 2

EMOTIONAL PROCESSING is often considered ‘hard work’ and potentially a little unpleasant. So why is it very important to practise and master this?


EMOTIONAL & PHYSICAL HEALTH

Good emotional hygiene is essential for both our emotional and physical wellbeing! If negative emotions remain unresolved, they ‘fester’ within the body and mind. This ‘unresolved stress’ builds up in our body and eventually will cause sickness and harm!


RELIEF & ENERGY

Releasing a negative emotion also provides great relief.

It feels good to move on from past pain. With this load taken off ‘our shoulders’, we feel lighter, happier and more energised.


INSIGHTS & WISDOM

Powerful emotions are often associated with important life-events which can offer us powerful life lessons. Processing and releasing emotions can provide important learning and considerable wisdom! Try to be open to the new insights that arise through this process.


COURAGE & RESILIENCE

Facing difficult emotional issues can require considerable courage. But we CAN do it! It’s only our fear that holds us back. We CAN overcome our fears! Expert support may be required to help break through the most difficult barriers. Each time we break through our perceived limits, we build our self-belief & self-esteem.



Page 3

WHAT IS EMOTIONAL PROCESSING?

Emotional processing is knowing HOW to successfully deal with an uncomfortable emotion or feeling when they arise. With the right skills, you will even benefit from the experience!


PROCEED SLOWLY

This concept might be unfamiliar to you, so we will proceed very slowly. It’s worth the effort! But remember from Challenge 1, to be kind & caring to yourself in the process!


BE ENGAGED

To receive the maximum benefit, you must personally engage in this process. So give this a try! Start cautiously and always seek expert or professional help if you find this just too difficult to cope with.


CONTEMPLATE THIS

Quietly contemplate this message and then the image on the right side of the page. Your silent contemplation will promote a deeper understanding. Some additional insights may also come to you later. Be open to this!


DEVELOP YOUR SKILLS

Challenge 2 is an exercise to develop your Emotional Processing skills. We won’t do the exercise just yet. So don’t worry! Start by reading the instructions below. Just familiarize yourself with what we aim to do...


SUMMARY OF CHALLENGE 2

Recall a recent mildly annoying emotion. Briefly re-experience what it feels like, then release & clear it fully. Sometimes an insight or wisdom is gained in this processing.



Page 4

IS IT TOO SIMPLE?

This challenge of Emotional Processing might seem too simple for some. But are you doing it correctly? Are you completely releasing and clearing all that inner pressure & stress? Are you extracting the maximum insight & wisdom from those life-lessons? Hang in there to find out!


IS IT TOO HARD?

For some others, the challenge of Emotional Processing might at first seem too difficult. Many have never done this before! But there is always a first time for everything. Be open and give it your best try. Emotional Processing is a basic skill. It’s essential to our health & well-being!


IT’S NOT TOO LATE

Ideally, all children would have been taught to do this correctly! But it’s not too late for adults to learn! It just takes longer and requires more practice. As an adult we have quite a backlog to deal with!


This challenge offers you the ‘adult version’ of emotional processing. We encourage you to approach all this with an open mind. Don’t worry, we will explain the whole process slowly and carefully.


SEEK HELP IF REQUIRED

Give it your best effort, but always seek expert guidance or professional help if required! Remember the lesson from Challenge 1, which is to be caring & kind to yourself in the process!



Page 5

CHALLENGE 2 will help develop your EMOTIONAL PROCESSING skills. Don’t do the exercise just yet, but carefully consider the instructions below.


SUMMARY OF CHALLENGE 2

Recall a recent mildly annoying emotion. Briefly re-experience what it feels like, then release & clear it fully. Sometimes insight or wisdom is gained in this processing.


EMOTIONAL HYGIENE

In Challenge 2 we will learn healthy emotional hygiene! This practice sounds so simple, but it’s not always easy to do! Always be kind & caring to yourself, especially if it gets hard! Refer back to Challenge 1 for more advice on how to do this.


BE BRAVE

Many haven’t been taught BASIC EMOTIONAL HYGIENE. Some haven’t bothered doing it for a long time! Often we’re not sure if we’re doing it right. Sometimes we’re reluctant or even fearful to try. Be brave!


IT FEELS GOOD

Emotional hygiene should feel good AFTER we have done it. It’s much like bathing, toileting or cleaning our teeth! Basic hygiene contributes to our well-being! Ignoring this practice results in a gradual health decline and potential illness.



Page 6

CENTRAL TO OUR WELL-BEING

This technique of releasing our emotions and clearing associated memories should ideally become second nature to us. We’re all exposed to minor distress, conflict & trauma throughout life. To some degree, it occurs daily! It’s therefore essential we manage this regularly & correctly. This is central to maintaining our well-being.


A KEY PART OF BEING HUMAN

Experiencing emotions is integral to our full experience of life! Processing emotions is therefore an essential part of being human. But it’s not always easy to do! If we don’t handle our emotions properly, we are responsible for the untoward consequences!


AN ESSENTIAL SKILL

The basic skill of emotional processing & releasing is essential for physical & emotional wellbeing. It also helps raise our Emotional IQ which helps us better interact with others. It’s even required for inner growth & spiritual development.


CONTEMPLATE THIS

Negative EMOTIONS will just build up if we don’t process & release them properly. Whatever is not dealt with, becomes our emotional BAGGAGE! We then carry that heavy ‘emotional load’ until we finally deal with it or the consequences.



Page 7

ARE YOU AVOIDING EMOTIONS?

So many people are separated or ‘cut off’ from their feelings. They deny, avoid or suppress their emotions! Some don’t consider their feelings & emotions to be valuable. Or they fear being overwhelmed by them!


DON'T MAKE THIS BIG MISTAKE

Some mistakenly think they have ‘solved the problem’ by avoiding or bypassing their emotions. They think they have ‘MOVED ON’ but are very MISTAKEN! Avoiding the direct experience of an emotion does NOT make the underlying issue go away. They are just in DENIAL!


DON'T SUPPRESS

AVOIDING EMOTIONS just SHIFTS them from conscious awareness to our subconscious. This is called SUPPRESSION. These potent suppressed emotions are still present and will try awfully hard to re-surface to our conscious awareness. Unknowingly, we can waste so much of our energy keeping all these powerful emotions suppressed.


CONTEMPLATE THIS

We hope you are now more convinced of the value of emotional processing. Below is a summary of what we aim to do.


SUMMARY OF CHALLENGE 2

Recall a recent mildly annoying emotion. Briefly re-experience what it feels like, then release & clear it fully. Sometimes insight or wisdom is gained in this processing.



Page 8

START NOW

Can you IDENTIFY an emotion you recently felt? One which wasn’t too strong or overwhelming? Don’t tackle anything too difficult or traumatic at this early stage. Always seek additional expert or professional help if you repeatedly find this process too distressing.


CATEGORISING EMOTIONS

Identifying & labelling an emotion can be useful in processing them. Start by working out whether it feels GOOD or BAD. Most can usually do that with just a little practice. AVOID thinking about WHY the emotion feels good or bad! Just recognise & categorise it! Don’t attach to the story. Don’t dwell on the drama!


PRACTISE THIS

Whenever you experience an emotion or a feeling, briefly acknowledge it. Simply ask yourself whether it feels GOOD or BAD? To know for sure, you must briefly experience how it feels! TUNE IN to that FEELING. How does it FEEL in your BODY?


STAY POSITIVE

Feeling an emotion, even briefly is essential. Feeling it will INITIATE the RELEASE. Feel only the pure emotion, then observe it! Be positive! Don’t dwell on the storyline. Becoming fearful suppresses the emotion. Just feel the pure emotion without the story. That minimizes the fear! Then it will pass!



Page 9

CONSIDER THE STRENGTH OF AN EMOTION

First we practised categorising emotions as feeling either ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Now, consider the STRENGTH of the feeling. Does the emotion feel mild, moderate or strong? Categorising an emotion and assessing its STRENGTH helps us to better ‘EXPERIENCE IT’.


DON’T GET DRAWN IN

Strong emotions often ‘draw us in’. To prevent this, don’t focus on related events. Don’t dwell on the storyline or the drama of what happened. Don’t blame anyone! Don’t ruminate on it or create an emotional saga! Don’t become fearful! Getting drawn into the story hinders emotional processing. It lowers our vibration!


JUST OBSERVE IT!

Just ‘sit with’ the pure feeling of the emotion. Don’t judge or comment on it. Don’t be fearful. Stay positive! Just observe the pure emotion without attaching to it! This is being a kind, impartial observer.


PRACTISE EMOTIONAL HYGIENE

Observing the emotion without becoming fearful or attached is the key to successful ‘Emotional Processing’. Practise feeling your emotions daily to release all the pent-up inner pressure. This is termed emotional hygiene!


DON'T AVOID EMOTIONS

If we fear an emotion or deny it, this will just suppress it in an unhealthy way. Suppressed emotions will build up and fester!



Page 10

RELEASE EMOTIONS

Briefly EXPERIENCE an emotion without becoming fearful or attaching to the story. This automatically STARTS its RELEASE!


AVOID THE DRAMA

Don’t ruminate on the mental story behind the emotion. Don’t think about how or why it all happened. Don’t judge! Just ‘sit with’ the pure emotion and observe this feeling in a caring but impartial way. Don’t be afraid of it! Stay in a positive vibe. It will pass!


ALLOW TIME

Most emotions subside quickly, in just a few seconds. However, powerful emotions may take longer for the ‘sting’ to completely clear. It may even take a few attempts to fully clear it.


BE KIND

The higher your VIBE is, and the more you practise, the faster you will release all the pent-up energy. As you are just starting, be patient & kind to yourself. Start small. Go gently. Practise! With this in mind, give Challenge 2 a good try now. Start with something mild.


SUMMARY OF CHALLENGE 2

Recall a recent mildly annoying emotion. Briefly re-experience what it feels like, then release & clear it fully. Sometimes an insight or wisdom is gained in this processing.

Congratulations! You have completed episode #15 about Understanding 'Emotional Intelligence' by UltimateQuest.org

CLICK HERE TO PROCEED TO EPISODE #16 ABOUT PRACTISING 'EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE'