How do you make your decisions? First, spot-check your emotional vibe. Tune into your emotions & body feelings. Our emotions are a guidance system.
Welcome to the UltimateQuest.org podcast. This is episode #3 in the ‘Finding your passion’ series. The title of this episode is: “How do you know if something is right for you?”. In this episode, we help you to better decide whether something is right for you or not. But how can you really tell?
HOW DO YOU MAKE YOUR DECISIONS?
Every day we make important life decisions. But our life situation is constantly changing. So how would you know if something is really right, at that very moment? Let’s take a real example…. how would you know if this podcast episode is right for you? How would you decide this? Have you ever thought about how you make your decisions?
FIRST, SPOT-CHECK YOUR EMOTIONAL VIBE.
Here’s a strategy that might help. Something is worth pursuing if it RESONATES with you in a POSITIVE WAY. But proceed cautiously and then recheck how it feels again later! It’s that simple! Do you currently do this? Do you regularly spot-check your feelings or vibe? Do you check whether the message or situation resonates positively? You might experience the answer as a gut feeling or a hunch.
TUNE INTO YOUR EMOTIONS & BODY FEELINGS.
It’s useful to ‘tune in’ to our emotions before making a decision. We get an instant readout of the vibration of our emotions or our ‘vibe’. In this way, we can quickly sense how it actually ‘feels’ within our body. That’s the first trade secret for today.
OUR EMOTIONS ARE A GUIDANCE SYSTEM.
We can instantly check whether something feels positive & empowering, or not. We can use emotions and our body feelings as a guidance system. Tuning into our vibe is one of the three main INNER GUIDANCE systems that we all have!
Some people are good at recognizing those instant emotion-vibe signals and use them effectively. Others deny or downplay their emotions and feelings. So they just miss out on this additional form of guidance from their emotions.
EMOTIONS ARE FAST BUT NOT ALWAYS SUITABLE.
Using our emotions for guidance is rapid and reasonably accurate for simple issues. But emotions are NOT practical for more complex issues, like working out our life purpose. So, what can we use instead? Can you think of an alternative system?
For more complex issues, we must use a skill called DISCERNMENT. There are two types of discernment. The first type of discernment is deep intuitive discernment. You might recognize this as a heart-felt or inner knowing. This can be a wise inner voice or something inside that nudges us in the right direction. But the problem is we might be quite rusty at tuning into our deep intuitive discernment.
DON’T CONFUSE DEEP INTUITION WITH EMOTIONS.
We previously discussed using our emotions as a spot-check or instant guide. Deep intuitive discernment is sometimes confused with using emotions. So, how is deep intuitive discernment different from spot-checking our emotions & vibe?
One big difference is that emotions are instant! Emotions are also more obvious and easier to recognise, compared to deep intuition. We feel emotions as if they are physically present in our body. They are hard to dismiss! Here’s a quick rule of thumb. If you are sensing something that is strongly demanding your attention, it’s likely to be your emotions or your Ego.
OUR INNER VOICE IS QUIET & NOT DEMANDING.
Deep intuitive discernment is the complete opposite. It requires us to listen to our quiet inner voice, at a deep level. Unlike emotions, our inner voice is not controlling and does not demand our attention. In fact, we have to actively ‘tune-in’ and listen carefully. This might take some time!
DEEP INTUITION REQUIRES PATIENCE & PRACTICE.
Deep intuitive discernment takes much more practice to master. As young children, we could access our inner voice quite effortlessly. But as adults, we have often forgotten how to do this! To effectively use our deep intuitive discernment, we need to regularly practise this. We practise tuning into that ‘quiet voice’ inside. To do this, we need to quieten our mind and practise quiet contemplation or meditation.
IT TAKES TIME FOR DEEP INTUITION TO UNFOLD.
Often we notice our deep intuition as an inner nudge or a knowing, rather than a ‘quiet voice’. Sometimes it can present as a powerful insight, or aha-moment! But usually this inner knowing slowly unfolds and rises to our consciousness. Usually, it takes time, focus and practise to tune in to this valuable intuitive guidance.
USE INTUITION FOR COMPLEX LIFE DECISIONS.
Deep intuitive discernment works best for the big decisions in life, especially complex issues! This more advanced type of guidance just takes more time and practice! Using our deep intuition is another big SECRET to mastering our decision making.
Using our emotions is fast & effective for simple and quick decision making. On the other hand, deep intuitive discernment is much better for complex life decisions. It provides a more accurate and comprehensive guide for important personal choices…. Like “what am I really meant to do with my life?” BUT remember deep intuitive discernment requires more time, practise & focus to master.
ONLY LOGICAL DISCERNMENT IS TAUGHT IN SCHOOL.
We mentioned that there are TWO TYPES of discernment. The first one was deep intuitive discernment. The second type is INTELLECTUAL DISCERNMENT. This is the academic type of logical discernment we are taught at school. Unfortunately, in the education system, deep intuitive discernment skills are ignored. At school they focus on decision making using knowledge & logic.
LOGISTICAL PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED INTELLECTUALLY.
So how does this intellectual discernment differ from deep intuitive discernment?
Intellectual discernment is fast and seems rational. This logic-based system is the way we learnt to problem solve at school. So, we know this method of assessment & reasoning quite well!
Intellectual discernment is good for simple logistical decisions & math problems. But it is suboptimal for major life decisions.
ACADEMIC TRUTHS ARE OFTEN PROVEN WRONG.
Intellectual discernment is relatively fast and appears logical. But, it is prone to error. History has taught us that many academic truths are later proven wrong. Remember, experts once believed the world was flat and that the earth was at the centre of the universe! So, imagine what current day truths might turn out to be wrong!
INTELLECTUAL DISCERNMENT IS OFTEN BIASED.
Intellectual discernment is also biased by our past experience & conditioning. It depends on what we were previously taught or exposed to. It relies on fallible memories. Everyone has a different filter or perception of what they experience.
We are also subconsciously swayed by emotion & drama from past experiences. Intellectual discernment is also affected by our expectations & beliefs. These may not always be true!
DEEP INTUITION IS NOT LIMITED BY INTELLECT.
By contrast, our deep intuitive discernment is unbiased. It’s not limited by intellect or thinking. Deep intuitive discernment is more than just facts, logic & reasoning. It goes far beyond the intellectual understanding of a subject.
INTUITION OFFERS A PANORAMIC PERSPECTIVE.
Deep intuitive discernment is much more comprehensive & inclusive. It offers us a broader, more panoramic level of assessment! Because of this higher perspective, the assessment is wiser & more balanced. So, deep intuitive discernment guides us towards our passion & joy.
However, deep intuitive discernment can be significantly slower than emotional or intellectual guidance. It requires much more time to correctly pose the question and then ‘tune-in’ to the answer. This is why deep intuitive discernment requires quiet time or contemplation.
INTUITIVE KNOWING TAKES TIME TO SURFACE.
Remember, the deep intuitive response will appear as a realization or an inner knowing. We get a heartfelt sense that something is right for us! It can also feel like an ‘aha-moment’ or a powerful insight. This is our quiet ‘inner voice’ at work.
Society has heavily conditioned us to use our intellectual logical discernment. So the challenge for us now as adults, is to utilize our deep intuitive discernment regularly. But remember, a challenge can be a good thing!
CHALLENGES CAN BE A NEW ADVENTURE!
A challenge can stretch us. It can be exciting & fun. Do you remember learning to ride a bike as a child? This was a big challenge initially. But now we take it for granted.
Improving our deep intuitive discernment can be considered a new adventure! This accomplishment will build our courage & self-worth. Embracing this challenge leads to lasting happiness. It will help us reach our potential on our Ultimate Quest.
OUR THREE MAIN GUIDANCE SYSTEMS:
We’ve discussed the pros and cons of our three main guidance systems.
1. Our emotion guidance system.
2. Our deep intuitive discernment.
3. Our intellectual logical discernment.
DON’T OVERREACT OUT OF DOUBT OR FEAR.
Let’s further discuss how we can decide if something is right for us or not. What if we are STILL not certain whether something is right for us? What do we do if a message or situation does not fully resonate? If something does not have a good vibe, this should put up a yellow ‘caution flag’ in our mind.
But be careful not to overreact on every transient feeling of doubt or fear. These doubts & fears are likely just arising from your Ego. The Ego will use fear to hold you back from making the best decision!
USE YOUR DEEP INTUITION TO DOUBLE CHECK.
So, keep objective & detached until you double check with your deep intuitive discernment! Remember, we all have intuitive abilities! This powerful intuition is how we double check if something is really right for us!
LEARN TO PAUSE YOUR DECISION MAKING.
When something doesn’t fully resonate, just temporarily pause your involvement! But don’t totally discount it all, just yet.
With the decision on hold, we now have the time to use our faculty of deep intuitive discernment. This process of pausing a decision is another trade secret! Because we have paused the decision making, we now have time to assess it more objectively. We can now use our deep intuitive discernment. We could even add our intellectual logical discernment as well!
A COMBINATION OF DISCERNMENT METHODS IS BEST.
All three guidance systems have a role to play. But what is the best everyday strategy? Using a blend of all three is usually best! Combining emotions, intellect & intuition is very powerful. This is using our gut, mind & heart together!
We can mix and match these to the situation as appropriate. But learning how to combine all three guidance systems does require some practice! Eventually, we can learn to use all three at the same time!
A HOLISTIC APPROACH BALANCES ALL PRIORITIES.
A flexible approach makes our decisions more holistic. It helps balance all the competing priorities. This is the most practical approach to find joy, meaning & purpose in life. Using all our guidance systems is how we tackle our Ultimate Quest, whatever that might be! It sure beats meditating in a cave for months on end.
HOW DO WE CONFIRM WE ARE ON TRACK?
Later on, we can confirm a decision is right by noticing an improvement in our wellbeing. Check for an increased level of vitality, joy or lasting happiness. It can also feel like a weight has been lifted. We feel more energized and have greater clarity. Longer-term, we will also feel a greater sense of contentment, fulfilment & inner peace. This further confirms we are making effective decisions.
OUR DECISIONS ARE OUR RESPONSIBILITY!
Remember, our decisions are OUR CHOICE and OUR RESPONSIBILITY. So, we must choose the right type of discernment for the situation! Whether or not we tune in to our inner guidance and heed this, is up to us. But we do bear the responsibility!
PRACTISE IMPROVING YOUR DISCERNMENT SKILLS.
So, give this all a try! If you feel hesitant, just gently place this topic at the back of your mind. Give yourself some time to quietly contemplate it all, and see what comes up for you later. This in itself is practising your deep intuitive discernment! Be open minded and invite new insights in! But don’t put any pressure on the process.
TRUST THAT YOUR SKILLS WILL BUILD OVER TIME.
Remember, it takes time to build trust in these inner guidance systems. You will learn from your mistakes. Optimising our discernment strategies is vital for our Ultimate Quest. It’s important for everyday life too! So, we encourage you to practise this!
SUMMARY OF EPISODE #3:
We discussed our 3 main internal guidance systems. The first was our emotion guidance system. We do an instant spotcheck and quickly assess the vibe. We sense our emotions and feelings in our body. That’s our gut feeling! Our emotion guidance system is fast and easy to recognise. But it’s only accurate for simple issues.
The second guidance system is our deep intuitive discernment. This is our quiet inner voice. It’s our heart-felt, inner knowing. This deep intuitive discernment can give us a gentle nudge or a powerful AHA-moment! Deep intuitive discernment is slower. But this is the best option for complex decisions in our life.
The third guidance system is intellectual logical discernment. This is usually the only system taught at school. It’s suitable for simple logistical decisions, but NOT complex life choices. It’s moderately fast, but is often biased or flawed.
To make the best possible life choices, we need an appropriate blend of all three guidance systems. This helps balance all the competing priorities and promotes joy, inner peace & fulfilment. Then we can experience a life full of passion, purpose and even tackle our Ultimate Quest!
Congratulations! You have completed episode #3 from the 'Finding your passion' series by UltimateQuest.org