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To Catch a Cheater

Your instincts tell you he’s cheating. Your girlfriends say confront him, follow him, check his phone and email; threaten him with physical violence . . . Okay, skip the violence unless your calendar is open for the next few years. Forget trying to follow him yourself, but do check his cell phone records and email. (Doing your own surveillance is rarely successful and more often tips him to your suspicion.)

It’s really about opportunity. If you narrow your focus to the mostly likely times of opportunity, you’ll be more likely to find the evidence to back up your instincts. Also, if you’ve decided to hire a private investigator, you can save yourself a lot of money by targeting these highly suspicious times of opportunity. Here are some of the more common cover stories of cheaters:

“I have to go out of town on business.”

This is a great opportunity for all the obvious reasons and should certainly be a time you consider deploying surveillance. If that isn’t an option, make notes of this time period and be sure to study phone records when you receive your next bill. Look at calls before, during and after the trip. Check phone numbers on Google; you may be surprised how many phone numbers will show up in a search as they’ve been listed on websites such as Linked In, Manta, etc. Remember, if you are unable to identify the owner of a phone number, a private investigator may still be able to.

“Honey, I’m headed to the gym.”

This is a great opportunity for one simple reason: he or she can return home showered—meaning their bodies are void of incriminating scents and other evidence without raising a lot of suspicion. They may also feel empowered by being able to look you in the eyes and say they had a great workout; maybe they did!

“I’m working late tonight.”

We all know the dangers of workplace romances, but the question is whether your significant other is really working late at the office or has he or she slipped off for a little fling? Time it and call an hour later. Is he still in the office? Is he answering his cell phone? If not, is there a legitimate reason why? If you suspect something is going on, this is another great time for surveillance. Other considerations would be monitoring his odometer to see if the miles add up to his commute, or placing a tracking device on his vehicle. Most private investigators can provide this service. Some people have businesses where they can actually have their affair at their place of employment! This is a whole other challenge but depending on the circumstances of your case, a competent investigator should have several suggestions.

“We’re going fishing . . .”

Hunting, hiking and fishing trips can be a great cover for a weekend with the other man or woman. For one, oftentimes the trip is planned for an area where cell phone service is unavailable. This allows them to turn off the phone and not worry about having to lie to you all weekend. Again, surveillance would be best. Check the odometer and ask plenty of questions. What about photos? Didn’t he take some pictures? Wouldn’t most people have a digital camera in their pack for their prize catch or that beautiful view?

“My girlfriend, Amanda . . .”

Let me pick on the girls here a bit. I’ve seen more than a couple flings of women where their cover story is simply their girlfriend. If the “Girls Night Out” evenings or weekends are too common, pay attention. The mention of a Tupperware party makes a man’s eyes glaze; what a perfect cover story that could be! If they leave you with the remote, a pizza and plenty of beer, either be suspicious or thankful!

As a final note let me say this: Sometimes your instincts are wrong! I have worked a few cases where after a couple nights of surveillance I’ve been convinced the alleged cheater isn’t that at all. Maybe insecurities are causing false suspicions, or maybe you are unfairly judging your guy by your last guy or other men. Having said that, I’ve found that in those instances, the client thought the knowledge I provided was a worthy investment for their peace of mind. But if you’re going to rely on an investigator’s report and opinion in this regard, make sure you’ve hired a reputable, competent and reliable investigator.

Danny R. Smith, a retired homicide detective from the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department, is the founder of DRS Investigations, LLC, a full-service private investigation firm in Boise, Idaho. http://www.drsinvestigations.com This text is a link to DRS Investigations, LLC.

If you have found yourself asking the question – is my man cheating? Then you probably have some strong suspicions or concerns that he is being unfaithful. As a guy, I am here to try and give you some insight to see what he does not want you to know. Guys cheat for all kinds of different reasons, they may do it because they don’t feel as loved any more from you or they just may have an addiction to sex. I am here to give you some insider secrets.

The first secret is that many men will use the Internet to cheat. There are a ton of sites out there that look fine from all points of view, but dig a little deeper and you will find that it is a nice little covert way to set up a meeting with a stranger. Take for example the personals section in Craig’s list. You can find anything that you want in any area. You can find women who want a one-night stand in your town or several towns over. You can find women that are married, single or involved. It is almost like a menu that you can choose from. If you notice Craig’s list popping up on your computer then take a look at the pages that are being viewed as this may clue you in.

The second secret is to watch the women that he does not talk about. As a guy when we talk a lot about someone from work to our wives or girlfriends then there is usually nothing to hide. So the more we talk about someone the more you can feel comfortable that there is nothing going on. There is nothing to hide so guys are more open to talking about these women from work. When a woman is spoken very little about or even in a negative light then pay attention as it may be a sign of other things. The negative talk and little talk of her are to throw the scent off the trail. We think that the less we talk about them or badly we talk of them the more you will think that nothing is going on.

The third secret is to watch for a disinterest in sexual activity or intimacy. When a guy is attracted to someone else, messing around with them or thinking about it then our arousal around our women gets decreased. It is almost as if we have painted an unrealistic picture and put the other woman on a pedestal that sex with our current partner just does not cut it any more. Also, there is a guilt factor that comes in to play when he is sleeping with someone else. It makes it difficult when a guy thinks about the fact that he is fooling around on you. This guilt reveals itself in a variety of other ways.

If you have seen any of these secret signs or if you still have a strong suspicion that something is just not right then you need to listen to it. Don’t let him make a fool out of you and don’t let him get away with it. Keep note of his actions and you will be able to answer with the certainty the question – is my man cheating?

Want more secrets to catch your man cheating? Catching him is easy if you have the right tools, here is a whole tool box, click here: Catch A Man Cheating.

Have you been noticing some odd behavior from your husband lately? Have you noticed that he is acting differently, dressing differently or has suddenly taken interest in a new hobby? If you have seen any of the above happening then you need to be keenly aware of the fact that he may be cheating on you. Of course there is a slight chance that he is not, but if you are reading this article then I am guessing that your gut reaction is that he is messing around.

There are a lot of ways to catch a cheater, just as there are many fishing rods out there to catch a fish, but one will either have you fishing with the wrong bait or reeling in the big one. I hope that I can help you catch a cheating husband.

One of the things you will have to do is start paying close attention to the bills and statements. These can be dead giveaways to what is going on. Look at the credit card statement to see any fishy charges or odd locations for the use of the credit card. You will also need to pay attention to the cell phone bills as well. You can spot out any number that pops up repeatedly. Again take precaution and find out who the owner of the phone number is before you start jumping the gun. There could be a chance that it is just a business associate. Just make sure that you keep note of it for future reference.

Another thing you can start to do is keep track of what he says he is doing. If he is telling you that he is going out for a few beers with co-workers after work ask him about it when he comes home. Ask him subtle questions such as “Where did you all end up going?” or “Who else from work went?” If he is being truthful he will be able to rattle them off, if he is not being truthful you will be able to tell. Keeping track of what he is saying will also help you to find any gaps or leaks in his story.

Another crucial way to catch a cheater is to pay attention to his time on the computer. It is so easy to use the Internet to cheat in today’s world that many men are taking advantage of it. They are using sites such as Craigslist and online personal sites to hook up with women. Follow his tracks to see what he is doing when you are not around. This will provide vital clues in your tracking.

They say that your first reaction or your gut reaction is usually the correct one. There is a reason that you feel that way and it should not be ignored. You need to follow through with it. Don’t let him get away with it and don’t let him manipulate you to think that you are just over reacting. Do something about it now, catch a cheating husband while you still have a chance.

Need a plan to catch your man cheating? Catching him is easy if you have the right tools, here is a whole tool box, click here: Catch A Cheating Husband.